As I think back on the emotional past 7 months, I’ve started to think about the day before that day. The day where everything was normal, where we were enjoying time vacationing with Josh’s family and taking in the beauty of Colorado. Except for the beginnings of a headache for me, it was a great, normal day. Josh, his brothers, and his dad had gone out to play golf that afternoon, but were driven inside by a sudden thunderstorm.

I had forgotten about that storm and really that whole normal “day before” until about a month ago. As I’ve revisited those days, I can’t help but be struck with what an interesting illustration that thunderstorm on July 28th was. Little did we know of the storm that was coming our way the next day, and that storm would continue in many ways through the next 3 months in the NICU. Those stormy days were scary. They were overwhelming at times. They were filled with the joy of holding our sweet child, but the heartbreak of leaving him at the hospital each night. Those days were not what we would’ve wished for, not how we wanted Harrison’s birth story to go. The storm came rolling in and we weren’t expecting it. But we were oh so thankful for our safe shelter.

One of the places in scripture I kept returning to during those Colorado days was Psalm 27. A friend mailed me a devotional by Paul Tripp called “A Shelter in the Time of Storm” which walked through this Psalm. As literally everything around us seemed so scary and uncertain, what sweet promises these were to read. In verse 5 of the Psalm David writes, “For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock.” One thing that struck me is how “in the day of trouble” is a given. To be honest, I probably skim over that reality, hoping trouble won’t happen to me. It is not an option of whether or not we will face trouble. David did and we will too, and sometimes it will hit us out of nowhere. But what a beautiful promise in the midst of that hard reality. When those days happen, he will be our shelter. When things around are scary and uncertain, we are invited to run to him for protection, life, and his very presence. As Tripp writes, “You can be sure of this - your day of trouble will come. Yet, in your trouble God hasn’t left you alone. What is it that he gives you in your trouble? He gives you himself! He is what will keep you safe.”

The Lord’s supper also offered a tangible reminder to us of God being our shelter. One Sunday as we took the elements in the middle of our grief, the minister challenged us to consider the hope we have in the gospel through a quote in the movie, Return of the King. Sam asks Frodo, “Will everything sad become untrue?” Yes it will. Christ the King will satisfy every unmet desire we know and experience. The gospel forced on us the promise of Harrison having a good Father when we wanted so much for him to be okay. Christ could be trusted because he died for us. That hope in the new day when we see Christ face to face gave our hearts rest in the storm.

During this season when we’ve had so many days of being afraid, it was, and still is, so tempting to run to other things - people to help us feel better, doctors to reassure us, food to comfort us, TV to numb ourselves from the reality of the situation. But it is only in the shelter Christ provides that we find the hope our soul really needs.

Harrison continues to grow and is thriving. He is healthy and close to 11 pounds now! We are trying to keep him healthy through the winter so we are at home a lot. We look forward to bringing him to church finally in April. Thank you again so much for your prayers and support as we’ve walked through this season!

“North Bihar (India) is one of the least evangelized mega-populations in the world.  It has been long known as a graveyard of missions.  Years of effort have yielded little fruit among the Hindu and Muslim people of the plains…14 million forward caste Hindus…33 million backward castes…15 million Muslims…”

As I read the numbers, I started tearing up.  Now, to my shame, I’m not normally that sensitive to the Lord.  But something about being in that small group around our kitchen table pulled the plug and started my eyes watering.  Of course, I recovered quickly, hoping no one had noticed.  But the real question is, why am I not weeping more often for the millions who are currently outside the reach of a credible witness for Christ?

Because I don’t yet know, I don’t yet truly grasp, the Lord’s heart for the nations like I should.  Listen to the passion of Psalm 67, where we see clearly God’s heart for the world (note the italicized portions):

¹ May God be gracious to us and bless us
   and make his face shine upon us,

² that your ways may be known on earth,
   your salvation among all nations.

³ May the peoples praise you, O God;
   may all the peoples praise you.

⁴ May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
   for you rule the peoples justly
   and guide the nations of the earth.

⁵ May the peoples praise you, O God;
   may all the peoples praise you.

⁶ Then the land will yield its harvest,
   and God, our God, will bless us.

⁷ God will bless us,
   and all the ends of the earth will fear him.

Christ Community Church gives 13.5% of all the money that is given through our weekly offerings to the task of world missions.  The Bogata team leaves in two weeks.  Brent and Dana Senior are heading out to Vietnam for medical work (as Christians :) and Joe Chapman just returned from Ghana on a similar trip.  The Odessa team is forming.  The list goes on and on.  Praise God for giving our little church a piece of the action in world missions!

But “your salvation [known] among the nations” remains as the great unfinished task.  The challenge is beyond enormous.  That is why every Christian must do his or her part.  Praying, giving, going, and mobilizing are all necessary for this essential Kingdom work.  Are you playing your part? 

Our Lord is exalted!  To Christ be the glory!  Have you heard what God has been doing  in the lives of Adam, Raja, and Jessica Paulraj?  This is a story that is happening right now, in our lives, in our church.  It is a story of God’s love, God’s grace and God’s miraculous power.  And it is a story of unshakable faith.  

Adam was born in a missionary hospital in Assam, India, on September 18th.  He was born with a rare disorder that caused him to have no eyelids, a severe cleft palate and lip, absent external nasal structures, absent fingers and toes, and feet attached to one another.  When his natural parents saw him, they felt ashamed, and would have likely poisoned him if they had taken him home.  Instead, they abandoned the newborn in his hospital bed.

But God did not abandon Adam.  Our Lord brought Dr. Raja and Jessica Paulraj to that hospital, a newly married doctor and nurse who were serving as missionaries.  He sent them to look on this child when he was born, and see him for who he is, an image bearer of God himself, and love him as Christ loves him.  Relying on the Spirit for steadfast love and faithfulness, they washed and cared for him everyday; named him Adam, because he ‘is made in God’s image’; sought and received prayer from friends, family, and fellow missionaries; brought him home to continue his care; tended to his uncovered eyes every hour - day and night; and greatest of these, they loved him as an adopted son.  Though newly wed seven months before, and just six days since Adam’s birth, the Paulraj’s made the decision to adopt Adam, just as their Lord adopted them too, in Christ.  After all, he, like them, was also a child of the Living God.  If all they could do was love him and provide palliative care, that is what they would do.  But they also felt there must be more that God had in mind if he had brought them to this point. 

So, the  Paulraj’s went to  Dehli - seeking tests to determine Adam’s medical needs.  The Paulraj’s found out over the course of several weeks that the procedures Adam needed were not available in India.  But the Lord has His plans. 

Several years ago, Jessica met a new friend, Brooke, at a conference for medical missionaries. They kept in touch.  Through Jessica’s requests for prayer, Brooke, now living in Durham, NC, learned  about Adam and shared the story with a co-worker.  That co-worker knew Dr. Van Aulst, Director of Pediatric and Craniofacial Plastic Surgery at UNC, and shared Adam’s story with him.  He committed, with a team of surgeons, to do all they could for baby Adam. 

But how could Adam get to the U.S. quickly?  Attaining a visa in India can take years. But, as in the exhortation of Jessica, “Behold! Him who ordained passports, visas, and plane tickets”.  Within days, the family left for the U.S. with their visa in hand and a promise of free medical care at UNC.  

Once  here, they discovered that there was not room for them at the Ronald McDonald House where they planned to stay.  Where would they go?  Over a year before Adam’s birth, the Lord connected two believers at a Mission to the World conference - for 10 minutes.  One, Amanda, is a friend of Jessica Paulraj, the other, Kathy, is a member of our congregation in Chapel Hill, NC.  After that meeting they went to their separate mission fields and faithfully prayed for each other.  Then came prayer requests from Amanda about Adam.  Kathy sent back contact information for her friends Dr. Brent and Dana Senior in Chapel Hill.  She knew they would help this family. 

The Lord provided in their need through the Seniors, who welcomed the family into their own family and home.  Over the past few Sundays they have come to Christ Community with the Seniors.  Here many of you as well as our pastors, elders, friends in the area, and their family from Florida have ministered to them.

Unfortunately, Adam’s new doctors at UNC realized upon meeting him that his medical needs could not be covered without additional financial support - even with the surgeons working without payment.  Unexpectedly, the  Paulraj’s needed to raise $100,000 before Adam could have surgery, and Adam’s medical issues gave them mere days to raise the funds. Adam’s parents prayed the prayers of many believers who have come before them, from scripture:

“Perhaps the Lord will act on our behalf.  Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.  He will act, because He is God and He is good. We ask for that precious gift of faith from our Abba Father.  Lord, we believe, help our unbelief.  And if He clothes the birds of the air, surely my son too, He will clothe and care for.”

And so again, as the family prayed, the family’s family prayed, missionaries prayed, new and old friends, people they’d never met, people here at CCC, and people across the world, and, all prayed for something supernatural--something only God could do.  Many gave as the widow joyfully gave her last mite.  And our Lord showed His glory.  Within days, the Lord moved in the hearts of people, all over the world, to give over $100,000 to baby Adam.  In the words of Jessica:

“Take off your shoes.  This is holy ground and I am wrecked with His glory.  He is working in hearts all over the world.  And He is making His name known.  And I am seeing sacrifice and love in whole new ways.  I love you all.  Thank you again.”

On Tuesday, November 29th, Adam spent all day in surgery with a whole team of doctors and medical care specialists working to repair his tiny body.  The surgeries were successful and Adam is healing; there is a long road ahead with many needs - so pray for him and them all.

Planting a church is kind of like building a plane in the air.

You take off, but you’re always building, adding, tweaking.  And while the gospel never changes, the culture never stands still.  It’s good work—never a dull moment. 

The Apostle Paul was a master at “in-the-air church building.”  One day he’s in Lystra having to convince the people he’s not Zeus, later he’s in Greece reasoning with the cultural gatekeepers of Athens.  He had to tell Titus to take off the kid gloves on the Isle of Crete where he had to pastor a bunch of “…liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.”  The churches he planted met in homes and by rivers; who knows, perhaps even in rented buildings like ours.

And I bet they even had to wrestle with how to do two services.

In God’s wisdom, we don’t have records of the two-service discussions of the early church.  This is one of those areas where the Lord says, in effect, “You’ve got my Word and Spirit, so trust me, talk it over, and you’ll be fine.”

After many months of careful deliberation, the elders decided it was time to make room for more people at CCC.  So we launched a second service in August.  Since then the elders have been keeping a close eye on things.  Now we think that it’s time for a tweak to help increase our effectiveness.

Starting January 8, 2012, Adult Sunday school will still be offered at both hours but we’re moving all children’s and youth Sunday School classes from the second to the first hour.  At that point, Sunday School for children and youth will begin at 9:15 a.m. instead of 10:45 a.m.  Nursery will still be offered at both hours.  Children’s church will move to the second hour.  Lori Stepp will be in contact with all members soon to let you know how this change will affect the current Nursery schedule.  She will work with you to try and accommodate your preference for serving either during the 9:15 or 10:45 a.m. service.

We see at least a couple of advantages in making this adjustment.  First, most of our visitors come to the second service, and this change will allow them to get a feel for the breadth and diversity that characterizes our church community.  Second, since we’ll probably return to one service for the summer when the UNC students leave (with all Sunday School classes offered at 9:15 a.m.), this adjustment will make that transition more natural.

Thank you for your flexibility and trust.  And join us in praying that this “flight path adjustment” will help make the gospel even more accessible to Chapel Hill.

This is a topic that vexes me greatly. It's all over Christendom that we have a serious problem with gender identity, and everyone seems to think that the solution is to clarify our definitions of masculinity and femininity. Unfortunately, that's proving to be a lot more difficult than it seems on the surface. For people who fit neatly into culturally preconditioned stereotypes, this seems ridiculous. Why can't people just be how they're supposed to be? For people who've always felt out of place and "made wrong" when it comes to gender discussion, all the talk is mostly salt in the wounds. Why can't I be who I am?

In my own, not usually very humble opinion, we've set the battlefield in the wrong place. While I certainly agree that there is such a thing as gender distinction, it seems far too slippery a topic for anyone to grip too tightly. For every example of "obvious" gender differences, exceptions can be found that cast doubt on our assumptions. Personally, I revel in this. How wonderful to have so obvious a fact prove so mysterious! Sounds a lot like the God whose image we bear. Huh.

But the issue remains that there is a lot of confusion over gender that causes a lot of strife, a lot of sin, and a lot of sorrow. How do we address the problem if not by defining parameters? Speaking as one who's spent a fair amount of time in the "not fitting in" crowd, the answer for me has been discipleship. As I've turned away from trying to "be a woman" and turned toward being "conformed to the image of Christ," I've actually grown more comfortable in my own skin and become more "womanly". Odd that trying to be like a man could have that effect. Obviously Christ is no ordinary man; but if patterning myself after His heart could make me a better woman, then I can only conclude that there is something "supra-gender" about being a Christian.

Here's how it broke down, in my experience. I was created by God as female. It is simply what I am. I also live in a fallen, human culture that creates its own ideas of what being a woman should look like. I happen, largely, not to fit firmly into this ideal (failure). I also happen not to want to fit into this ideal, and so I rebel against it (usually sinfully). Add to the mix the fact that some of the cultural ideals match up to biblical ones in some way and thus are actually good (baby thrown out with bathwater in my personal rebellion--sin). Now stir in a healthy dose of "being a girl makes you weak and vulnerable; here's how" (being sinned against--pain and shame). Blend on high for about 20 years, adding pinches of gospel redemption; and you have a pretty good recipe for gender confusion.

For years, I tried to fit myself into the mold of "godly woman" with little success that I could discern. I divided my time between feeling like a phony and feeling like a failure. It was only when I stopped trying to be a woman and started opening my heart more and more to Christ that I actually grew as a woman. Opening my heart to Christ and the work of the Spirit allowed me to confront my fear of failure and over-desire for perfection and begin to kill it. Coming out from under the yoke of this slavery allowed me the freedom to engage with the cultural ideals I found without fear of being found wanting. I had the freedom to accept and be challenged by what was true and right and to challenge what was wrong, adding fruitfulness to the discussion. Allowing Christ to change my heart gave me freedom to face old wounds in a way that brought healing and redemption. He cleansed me of my shame and bound up my broken heart. He gave me the privilege of following Him down the path of sacrificial love, teaching me kindness, compassion, gentleness, and long-suffering. In the midst of this, he also shored up and deepened the gifts He'd already granted and made strong. In short, I became a better woman because I became more truly human. Because I became more Christ-like.

Growth in biblical manhood or womanhood is essentially a process of discipleship, of dying to self and living through faith in Christ. This, I believe, is the missing ingredient in discussions on gender. And while there are certainly high level principles to govern this, there is no "one size fits all" Christianity. God is deeply personal and tailors redemption and sanctification to the individual heart. Should we do any less? Or should we continue to orient our discussions around which fruit people need to staple to their trees to make them look more masculine or feminine? Certainly there are questions of practicality that need to be answered. I just wonder if we're asking the right ones.

Read more of Gretchen's writings on her blog - http://wide-ruled.blogspot.com/

I would imagine that my experience with really getting to know Chapel Hill is shared by many others.  We come for what we think will be a season (graduate school, a fellowship, an internship, a first job), but soon our time is over and many of us leave.  We have little time to see the Town’s inner workings, and little opportunity to connect with people who actually live and work here.  Some of us stay, but our busy jobs and families tend to keep us on the fringe.  For some, the lack of connection leaves us isolated, lonely, and bitter.

Local churches provide an enormous service to the town of Chapel Hill in creating and building meaningful community.  One aspect of the vision of our church (like many others in the area) is to help make the connection between the longer term Chapel Hill residents and those who are here only for a season.  Each year new people come through our doors and soon find themselves getting to know older members, singles, married people and their kids.  And each year dear friends walk their commencement aisles, pack up their vans and say goodbye.  We have mentored young doctors, counseled young married couples, connected singles, and brought meals to beleaguered moms and dads. 

But true gospel community goes deeper than just mentorship and meals.  Its basis is a common relationship with a living Person—Jesus Christ.  United to Christ, Christians share a most important commonality:  We are brothers and sisters, bound in covenant to one another across racial, socio-economic and gender lines.  The Apostle Paul’s letter to the Ephesian church captures this vision of Christian community in chapter 4, verses 15-16:  “…speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.  From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament [i.e., each person], grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”

“That’s all well and good, but the baby’s crying, I don’t know anyone in my apartment complex, and I’m nursing a grudge against that jerk in my lab.  My dissertation is languishing.  This neighborhood is changing.  I feel disconnected and forgotten.”

Christians believe that only God’s grace in Christ can provide lasting answers to these very real trials.  True Christian community recognizes the difficulties but is empowered to then roll up the sleeves and go to work (Titus 2:11-12).  Initiative replaces lethargy.  Honest and loving speech elbows out the gossip and put-downs (Ephesians 4:29).  Forgiveness is asked for and offered (Colossians 3:13).  And over time a new hope is born—hope that the sin that splinters communities and wrecks relationships really does have an antidote in Christ, and that the community we now know in part, through the church, will one day be fully realized.

There is much room for growth!  There are so many people who come to Chapel Hill and never get connected meaningfully to true community.  It is our hope and prayer that the churches of Chapel Hill can be safe harbors of community that connect the riches of Christ to the realities of life. 

Question for further reflection:  How can churches help reach out to those who are only in Chapel Hill for a season?  How can we not only help them get the most out of our community, but also give back to the community?

By Byron Peters, Pastor, Christ Community Church

This week “Psalm 100,” an a cappella singing group comprised of Christians on the UNC campus, voted to ask a member who claims he is gay to step down from the group. How should a Christian process this decision?

First of all, I need to be clear that I do not know all details of this decision. My assumption is that this young man was not merely tempted by same-sex attraction, but was practicing homosexual behavior. This article is predicated upon that assumption. Secondly, the issues of homosexuality and freedom of association involved in this action demand careful Christian thinking and gracious Christian love.

Several biblical principles inform a decision like this. Here are some that seem to be particularly important for us to consider.

1. Jesus is Lord over all—including our sexuality. He is able to guide us through all confusion and opposition by his Word and Spirit (Psalm 25:4-15; Jeremiah 23:28-29; John 5:25-30; 2 Timothy 3:16-17). Addressing the beauty and complexity of Jesus’ lordship in the area of our sexuality, David Powlison puts our common struggle like this in his article on the struggle for sexual purity entitled Making All Things New: Restoring Pure Joy to the Sexually Broken”

“He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6). What does that lifelong process look like? How do you get from here to there? How does dirt transform into beauty? What’s the battle like? You’re somewhere in the middle, but Christ has begun a good work in you. He has washed away true guilt. He has broken your willing bondage. Jesus knows his business well. He is looking out for you. He is working to clear away sin’s rot. Jesus is remaking you into a person who actually loves people, and who begins to consider their best interests. Your opinions and impulses no longer reign. What He has begun, He will complete. On the final day, He will entirely remove the instincts and energies of sin from you.” This is the hope that Christians like you and me who are broken sexually have in Christ Jesus.

2. God created mankind as male and female and ordained that the one flesh relationship would be between one man and one woman (Matt 19:4-6). God emblemizes the relationship between Christ and his church using the analogy of marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33; Revelation 19:6-8). As the apex of creation, the marriage relationship will always be the focus of the devil’s and the world’s most vicious attacks. Every Christian will struggle sexually, but the hope of the gospel is that Christ is redeeming us even in our tremendous brokenness in this area (1 Corinthians 6:9-11; 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8). Any proper relationship between people is a gift of grace (Titus 2:11-12) to be celebrated and offered up to God in grateful praise (Song of Songs).

3. The group “Psalm 100” is a voluntary society, and as such has the right to formulate the bounds of its membership under biblical authority and under the authority of the law of the land as that does not conflict with God’s law. God’s law mandates we must follow his law above any human laws (Act 5.29). Currently, U.S. constitutional law establishes the right of freedom association and the right of the free exercise of religion. In particular, the U.S. Supreme Court established the right of a voluntary society to exclude those who do not act in accordance with the principles of that society (Boy Scouts of America v. Dale, 530 U.S. 640(2000)).

4. Homosexual activity is sin (Romans 1:26-27; Leviticus 18:22), even as is heterosexual activity outside the bonds of marriage (including the use of pornography; Ephesians 5:3). Even as there are Christians who struggle in these ways heterosexually, there are Christians who struggle in these ways in a same-sex manner. Simply being tempted toward homosexuality is not sinful, even as being tempted heterosexually is not sinful. The sin isn’t “out there” in the temptation (Jesus was tempted but didn’t sin, see Hebrews 2:18), it’s “in here”—in my response to the temptation. Sin is conceived when we “take the bait” of the temptation (James 1:13-15). So heterosexually tempted Christians can understand and empathize with those whose temptations are along same-sex lines. The gospel promises and responsibilities are the same for both—forgiveness for sins committed and repented of, help for today’s temptations (1 Corinthians 10:13), the importance of the body of Christ for support, accountability and encouragement, and a direction of life that is progressing by the power of the Spirit toward sexual purity in mind and body (Galatians 5:16-26).

5. The reasons for same-sex attraction are varied and complex, and Christians should treat those who are tempted in this way with compassion, empathy and love, seeking to assist them in their very difficult struggle for purity in this area (Colossians 3:12-14).

6. The Gospel is for sinners of all sorts (Romans 4:5). It is a call to repent and believe in Jesus as Lord, and to live in covenant with him (John 14:21). Where we as the church have harbored the sin of viewing same-sex attraction as a special category of sin, we must repent of that. We are called to love those who struggle with any sort of temptation, and welcome as brothers and sisters all who flee to Jesus for forgiveness and the power to resist sin’s pull (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) and who covenant to live as becomes a follower of Christ in the context of the body of Christ, his church (Matthew 16:17-19, 24-28; 1 Timothy 3:15).

7. The proper biblical reason for the member’s exclusion must not ultimately be his samesex attraction, but that he refuses to repent of his homosexual practice while claiming to be a follower of Jesus (Luke 6:46). To remain consistent under Scripture, “Psalm 100” would apply the same principles to other members who are sinfully unrepentant in any area.  The principles found in Matthew 18:15-20, 1 Corinthians 5 and Gal 6:1 should guide a decision like this.

8. “Psalm 100” is not a church, so no definitive judgment on the credibility of this young man’s Christian faith is attached to this judgment. He would be wise to consult his home church as he processes this decision (Proverbs 9:8). If his home church does not proclaim Jesus as Lord and hold a high view of Scripture as God’s Word, it may not be a true church and so it may not give him good advice (Galatians 1:6-9). How important is one’s church!

9. Though it is right to confront, in a loving manner, particular and egregious sins, the most common and fundamental sin is our self-justifying condemnation of others.  Whenever we have to deal with sin in others, it is always a great temptation to selfrighteousness (Matt 7:2-4). Paul’s point in Rom 1:18-2:16 is not that homosexual practice is uniquely terrible. His point is that our natural reaction to overt sin in others is a selfrighteousness that puts us in as bad a position as any overt sin: “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” (Rom 2:1) That is, all of us sinners are putting ourselves in God’s place when we judge.

10. The world will probably read this decision as hateful Christian homophobia. Where their perspective on this decision (or others like it) is justified by our sinful attitudes and actions, we need to humbly repent, ask forgiveness, and make restitution. But ultimately we cannot help what the world thinks of our motives (John 8:48). “To our own master we stand…for the Lord is able to make us stand” (slight paraphrase of Romans 14:4). We should be clear that the offer of the gospel is for all who will repent and believe in Jesus, no matter their sin. Indeed, each of us may want to pick a fight with Paul over his claim to be “the worst of sinners” (1 Timothy 1:15), knowing the depravity of our own hearts. The one sin that will send us to hell is the sin of not repenting of our sin and trusting Christ as our Savior and Lord (1 John 5:13-17).

So, what if you are struggling with same-sex attraction? I’ll close with some helpful advice gleaned from a friend of mine, Pastor Stephen Crotts.

1) Set about breaking off old relationships. Say "No" quickly and up front. Tell why.  Refuse to go to their apartments, the bars, the beach houses and such. Like Joseph in Genesis 39, Flee the proximity of temptations and be willing to pay the price. As Paul said in Romans 13:14, "Make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires."

2) Envision the consequences of homosexual behavior. Detection. Disease. Death. Such a vista of pain will give you incentive.

3) Talk with your pastor or elder. CCC will treat as confidential your request for help. Our commitment is to connect the riches of Christ to this reality in truth and love.

4) Join a small support group where honesty, prayer, caring, teaching and accountability prevail. The Bible says, "Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together...," (Hebrews 10:24-25). Again, we can help you find a group.

5) Internalize the Word. The process of turning away must begin where the process of turning toward homosexual behavior began--in the mind. It means starting to think of yourself and your sexuality as God does. So, fill your mind with Scripture. As Paul said in Romans 12:2, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind."

6) Sexual sanctification is not an event but a process. Sanctification begins with the grace of God and involves a clear choice: "I want out. I want to change in Christ." The first sixteen months are the hardest. The next two to three years are still a constant struggle. And the next three to five years are one of growing new and wholesome relationships built upon God's Word.

7) Read David Powlison’s excellent article I quoted from above: “Making All Things New: Restoring Pure Joy to the Sexually Broken.”